Tag: 百花丛论坛QW


Saddam may be put to death only 5 times

first_img Rappin’ Harry: Seems that Supreme Court nominee Harriet Miers had a bit of a problem filling out her Senate questionnaire, answering many questions with “because,” “why not?” and “he told me I didn’t have to answer that.” “If she doesn’t want to answer, that’s up to her,” said the Senate Judiciary Committee chairman, Arlen Specter, R-Pa. “But the ones she is answering, she’s rhyming, which hasn’t been done since the misguided Carl Sandburg nomination.” In addition, Miers seems to be breaking many of the poetic laws. “She’s forcing the rhymes,” said Specter. “Stretching out syllables and ill-conceived phrasing. No matter how many times she writes it, `habeas corpus’ and `fieri facias’ do not rhyme.” When Miers does actually rhyme, word is that she is doing so by ending words with “ee.” There’s no such word as “plaintiffee” or “hearsayee,” said Sen. Pat Leahy, D-Vt. “If you’re going to make huge, consequential decisions affecting the entire country and choose to do so in a rhyme, you do it the way our forefathers would have rhymed them.” Couldn’t make this one up: Michael Jackson has received a jury summons at his Neverland Valley Ranch, four months after he was acquitted of child-molestation charges. Anything I would add to this only diminishes the irony. Steve Young is author of “Great Failures of the Extremely Successful” and can be heard on Los Angeles’ KTLK-AM (1150) on Saturdays from 1 p.m. to 4 p.m.160Want local news?Sign up for the Localist and stay informed Something went wrong. Please try again.subscribeCongratulations! You’re all set! AD Quality Auto 360p 720p 1080p Top articles1/5READ MOREWalnut’s Malik Khouzam voted Southern California Boys Athlete of the Week Understanding the special election: making your decision easier: Today, Proposition 76 – State Spending and School Funding Limits. Yes: Schools and teachers already have way too much money to spend on students. Besides, I’m way more comfortable with the guy who owns fourteen Hummers deciding how to to make efficient use of my tax dollars. No: I have seen the results of my child’s education, and if we pull one more cent out of the school’s coffers, I’m afraid my kid will turn into a cabbage. Washington in trouble: The office of the federal prosecutor looking into PlameGate just may be indicting Washington, D.C. “The case has become much too unwieldy to do piecemeal,” said an unidentified staffer from Patrick Fitzgerald’s office, “so we’ve decided to haul up the entire District of Columbia, where most of the alleged crime took place – allegedly.” The only one not indicted will be President Bush, whom investigators say is probably safe as they presume he’s on vacation whenever anything happens. In other political business as usual: Tom DeLay’s attorney says that, prior to DeLay’s being indicted, not only did prosecutor Ronnie Earle offer him a deal that would have reduced his crime to a misdemeanor, but said that he would allow DeLay to prosecute Earle for being an utter idiot to offer such a deal in the first place – a felony in Texas. Rocky, all right already: Sylvester Stallone announced he will soon begin shooting the sixth and (hopefully) final episode in the film series. “Don’t Make Me Use This Catheter” will have the Philly boxing legend Rocky Balboa once again shuffling out of retirement, but this time, he forgets why. He spends the next hour and a half looking for a reason and long-lost cachet.” Iraqi constitution vote in question: Recounts are all the fashion in Iraq as the constitution “yes” was near 95 percent in the Sunni areas that were expected to vote “no.” Contacted for a reaction, Saddam Hussein said that those “running the election were amateurs.” Hussein added, “During my many elections, I averaged at least 102 percent of the votes, and I had at least 10 or 20 people running against me. Though, to be honest, if any of them would have won, they would have been much too dead to serve.” More Saddam: With Hussein’s trial under way, Iraqi President Jalal Talabani said that due to the former president/dictator/bad dancer’s admissions of murder, he should be “executed 20 times.” Hussein’s court-appointed attorney, Slicky McSlimepants, confidently said his team would make Talabani look like a fool. “If Saddam is executed more than five or six times, I’ll turn in my diploma.” Strange non-bedfellows: President George W. Bush visited Southern California for a big political fundraiser this past week, ignoring Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s plea to stay out of the state until after the special election is over. “We understand the governor’s consternation,” said a presidential spokesperson, “but if we stop taking money from places where the president is unpopular, we’d go bankrupt.” last_img